Extrait Chapter 1 The only reason Ifm sitting on a toilet seat in the handicapped stall of the ladiesf room is because Ifm hiding. My break is just fifteen minutes long and Ifm trying to decide with the help of a book on the subject of 8the changee if Paulette was really on to something when she suggested I get a blood test to see if my hormone levels were diminishing. And if it turns out to be true, I might want to get them replenished with something besides the Good & Plenty Ifve been eating by the handful for the last seven or eight months and I donft even like licorice. Ifm also sitting here with an old issue of Bead & Button trying to figure out if I shouldfve played it safe and used plastic instead of glass beads since I just had to make my very first jewelry attempt a gift, and because sometimes I do think that more is better, just had to add three strands more than the instructions called for and now I donft know how to close up the ends. Ifm not used to asking for help. Paulette claims Ifve been showing enough symptoms of a perimenopausal woman to warrant further examination, which initially irritated me. She merely closed her eyelids over those hazel contacts and sucked her tongue across those shiny white veneers and whipped over one shoulder all five hundred of those individual braids that are way too long for a forty-eight-year-old woman who is no Donna Summer and said, 8I know what Ifm talking about. You remind me of me four years ago.e Experiencing something once does not make you an expert on the subject. The rampage I went on last week about Leon may have added more fuel to the flames. Perhaps my reaction to my husbandfs forgetting to set the empty water bottles out was a little strong, but it was totally symbolic of a lot of other things he neglects. Ten minutes into my rant, Paulette just said, 8Girl, you need to hurry up and have that test so you can be restored back to full sanity. Assuming you once were! But seriously, you need to do something because your circuit-breaker is not working. On a lighter note, donft forget: Pity Party next Friday at Bunnyfs. I canft wait to hear your latest bullshit, if therefs anything left to tell. And as an FYI: Bunnyfs taking another online course, girl. This time itfs psychology. So be prepared. Shefs probably going to be Freudfs little sister. Just try to be nice, Marilyn.e 8Nicee has been difficult for me lately. Paulette has also been kind enough to point out that all those who land in my path of wrath (as she calls my unconfirmed Pause Personality) deserve a break, especially Leon, and Arthurine, his nosey mother who has eyes in the back of her head and lives with us along with her handicapped dog to whom I have the luxury of being a private nurse. I wish I could take all of them on a one-way cruise out to sea and then sail back to shore alone. This does sound mean, but some days I canft help it. I have to admit that I have experienced quite a few of the symptoms Paulette was sweet enough to bring to my attention. But I didnft tell her. She loves being right and I hate being wrong. I snap the book shut. Should I break down and spend even more money on French wire and Bali silver cones to close up the ends of this damn necklace? Trying to achieve true beauty can be expensive. But Bead & Button seems to imply that using inferior (or cheap) materials will help deter that dreaded question: 8Did you make that?e Ifm making this damn thing for Bunny, my other best friend, for her thirty-seventh, thirty-eighth, but most likely her fortieth birthday. Ifve got close to a month before she turns the big hand on the clock. But even with my 20 percent discount, wefre still talking about explaining to The Husband Who Is Not at Sea why these sums are necessary when they appear on the Visa or MasterCard bill. And if I do mess up (or=just say it, Marilyn=if you fuck it up), since one never knows one has even made a mistake until after one has made it: at what price, friends
