Présentation de l'éditeur
Michele Weiner-Davis offers an empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds.
Michele Weiner-Davis goes beyond her marriage-saving bestseller, Divorce Busting, with this empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. In a down-to-earth style that is free of psychobabble, Weiner-Davis outlines a realistic, solution-oriented seven-step program for managing marital problems, which, when left unchecked, can drain the life out of a relationship. Using revealing anecdotes and in-depth case studies, she illustrates practical ways for marriage partners to
-avoid the “divorce trap”
-identify specific marriage-saving goals
-move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting
-become an expert on “doing what works”
-overcome infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises
-get your marriage back on track—and keep it there
Rescue your marriage with the proven techniques of The Divorce Remedy—sound, sensible advice from a renowned relationship expert!
Extrait
Chapter One: The Not-So-Great Escape
People who are unhappy in their marriages often speak of feeling trapped. They yearn to be free from the tension, loneliness, constant arguments, or deafening silence but worry that divorce may not be the right decision. After all, they took their marital vows seriously. They're not trying to hurt their spouses. They don't want to hurt their children. They panic at the thought of being alone. They worry about finances. They fear the unknown.
Yet the idea of living in a loveless marriage starts to feel like a death sentence. Over time, many of these people slowly convince themselves that the benefits of leaving their marriages vastly outweigh the benefits of staying. They tell themselves, "Kids are resilient, they'll bounce back," or "In the long run, this will be better for everyone." It's not until they embark on the path to divorce and begin to piece their lives back together that they discover the real price they paid for their so-called "freedom." Regretfully, this painful discovery comes too late. They have fallen into the divorce trap.
Dear Michele,
I was married for eighteen years and we have three terrific children. I instigated a divorce. It was final six months ago. Now, I am having second thoughts.
I never imagined that I would feel this way because, for years, I was so miserable in my marriage. I thought that once I got out, we all would be better off. At first, it was a relief to get away from all the arguing. However, I could not anticipate how quickly the feelings of relief would turn to pain. The look on my children's faces when they talk to their dad on the phone or when they come back from weekend visits has been more than I can bear.
What surprises me the most though is the fact that I find myself thinking about my ex all the time. He is far from perfect, but I now realize I could have made more of an effort to learn how to deal with the things that irritated or hurt me. Now I am haunted by the fact that my divorce destroyed not only a marriage but a family.
Joan
Dear Michele,
I feel like a fool writing to you, but I don't know where else to turn. After twenty-four years of marriage, I told my wife I wanted a divorce. I had been pretty unhappy in our marriage for a long time. Our sex drives were totally incompatible. Whenever I approached her, she never seemed to be in the mood. At first I thought I was doing something wrong, but after a while I got sick of all of her excuses.
Then I met a younger woman at work who respected me and seemed attracted to me. Although I never thought I would be the kind of guy who would have an affair, after spending hours together working on late night projects, the temptation just became too great. Although my wife suspected something, I kept my affair secret.
Eventually, I realized I couldn't live this lie any longe
