DON'T RUN, Whatever You Do: My Adventures as a Safari Guide

A charming, off-the-wall and thoroughly entertaining travel book recounting the true-life adventures of a young safari guide living in the Botswana bush, confronting the world's fiercest terrain and wildest animals and, most challenging of all, herds of gaping tourists. Despite the fact that 'I had none of the qualities you would expect of a rugged bush man...I'm markedly uncoordinated, can't repair vehicles or understand how they work, I don't like guns, and sweat profusely when nervous or excited...which is exactly how watching animals makes me feel', Peter Allison works as a top safari guide in the Okavango Delta, an oasis of wetland and wildlife in the middle of the Kalahari desert. Full of outrageous-but-true tales of the people and animals he has encountered - the half-naked missing member of the British royal family; the mouse that overdosed on malaria pills; the monkeys with an underwear fetish; and last, but by no means least, 'Spielberg' the video-obsessed Japanese tourist - Allison's stories are often self-deprecating and always hilarious. Full of essential wisdom like 'never stand behind a frightened zebra; (they are prone to explosive flatulence when scared!) , this is a wonderful and vivid portrait of what the life of a safari guide is really like. Peter's humour is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals. The next best thing to sitting around a campfire late at night and listening to him talking, 'Don't Run Whatever You Do' is warm, funny and utterly engaging.